Divorce is a time of great change and can be an emotional rollercoaster. The divorce process can be one of the most challenging events in a person’s life. Divorcing spouses are faced with many difficult decisions to be made, both financial and emotional. The thoughts and behaviors used to manage the stress associated with the emotional rollercoaster of a divorce can be especially difficult. However, if you can accept the loss of a family, make the right decisions, and surround yourself with a good support system, it is possible to come out post-divorce stronger and more resilient. In this post, we will discuss some practical tips to help you cope with the emotional rollercoaster of divorce.
1. Work through your emotions
The end of a marriage is a loss, and it is important to allow yourself to accept this fact. Grief is a natural process that we all experience when we lose something that was once an important part of our lives. The end of a marriage can be very painful, as it represents the loss of a best friend, a present way of life, and a planned future. It is normal to experience a variety of emotions, including sadness, anger, fear, uncertainty, and self-doubt. At times, you may be overwhelmed by these emotions. Allow yourself adequate alone time to feel these emotions without anyone judging you.
2. Find your support system
Finding a support system during a divorce is important for your emotional and mental health. Going through a divorce can feel like a lonely and isolating experience. However, you don’t have to go through the divorce process alone. Friends and family can be a great source of support and comfort during this difficult time. Reach out to them and let them know how you are feeling so they can offer emotional support and a listening ear. Consider joining a divorce support group or seeking the help of a professional therapist. Having a support system can help you feel less alone and provide a safe space to talk about and work through your feelings.
3. Stay healthy
Divorce can take a toll on your mental and physical health, so it is important to stay listen to your body during this time. It is common for spouses going through a divorce to feel stress and anxiety, which can lead to a variety of health problems such as headaches, stomach issues, and regular illness. Don’t allow stress to take over. Instead, exercise, eat healthy meals, and get enough sleep. Avoid eating junk food, drinking too much alcohol, and adopting a late-night lifestyle. Eating healthy and regular exercise are powerful stress relievers that can help reduce your divorce anxiety, boost your mood, and improve how your body feels. Taking care of your physical health can also have a positive impact on your mental health as it will help you feel more resilient and ready to handle the challenges of the divorce process.
4. Stay away from social media
We live in an age of digital oversharing. Perhaps because social media has become wired into our daily rituals, perhaps because when we share we only see a screen, we post frequently and often impulsively, without a complete filter of our thoughts. In the context of divorce, this habit could spell disaster.
The first reality every person even thinking of getting a divorce should acknowledge is that anything posted on a social media platform will be permanent and located. Even if you post one rant about your ex or your children on a private status update and delete it a few minutes later, that post has already become part of the Internet vortex. It will be archived by one or more social media platforms and also search engines. Computer experts who know how to find “deleted” material will hunt and locate potentially damaging statements you put into cyberspace.
But what we have found is that most people do not get “caught” through deleted messages as much as with posts left for others to read and copy and alert your ex. The danger of having too many friends online is that it becomes like Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon – one of your friends will be friends with someone who is also friends with your ex (who is a friend of someone who is friends with Kevin Bacon). Anything you think is a closed circle chat is an open post to the universe, a time bomb waiting to go off and blow up your case.
What should you do? First never ever post anything online relating to your spouse, your divorce, or your children. Never. Second, consider suspending your social media usage. No Facebook, no Instagram, no Twitter. Basically, “take the Fifth” and assume anything you say online can and will be used against you in court. Third, discuss social media use with your children, as their words too could become part of the evidence in your divorce case. While it may seem that taking a teenager off social media is somewhere just shy of solving the Middle East’s problems, it is possible to help your children understand the consequences of their words – a good lesson overall.
Remember: people get very emotional during divorce and your fuse could be much shorter than normal. You do not want to make that permanent with an impulsive and unwise post on social media. Even seemingly innocent sharing could be problematic: a picture of you and the children at a fancy outing could be used to show you have more financial means than you have maintained in court or could be used to question your judgment or parenting skills. So, when it comes to social media and divorce, silence is always the best policy.
5. Focus on your future
Going through a divorce can leave you feeling lost and unsure about your future. However, focusing on the future can help you to move forward and create a positive outlook for yourself. Setting goals for yourself is a powerful way to start imagining your post-divorce life. By identifying what you want to achieve and working towards it, you can begin to build a sense of purpose and direction. When setting goals, it is important to choose things that are realistic and achievable. This could be anything from improving losing weight, starting a new career, or spending more quality time with your children. The key is to choose something meaningful and motivating to you, so you are incentivized to work toward the post-divorce life you want.
6. Hire a good divorce attorney
Finally, consult an attorney who can give you frank and reliable advice about the divorce process, your options, and how viable some of your own ideas about financial matters and custody will actually be under the law. Having a knowledgeable and experienced professional on your side can help reduce stress and anxiety and ensure that your rights and interests are protected. Be sure you choose an experienced family law attorney, as navigating the family court is a complex and specialized area of the law.
Navigating the rollercoaster of divorce can be a difficult task, but it is important to remember that it is not an insurmountable one. You can make it through this difficult period in your life and emerge post-divorce even stronger than you were before the case began. The practical tips discussed above can help you manage the emotional fallout of divorce.
Should you need the assistance of an experienced divorce attorney or child custody attorney, or have questions about your divorce situation, know that we are here to help and ready to discuss those questions with you.