Study: decision to divorce is difficult, not always permanent

On behalf of The Marks Law Firm, L.L.C posted in Child Custody on Thursday, October 6, 2011

A new study takes a look at how parents decide to divorce and why they sometimes step back from that decision and instead give their marriage another try.

Of course, the decision to divorce is for parents a difficult one that involves considerations of child custody, child support, visitation and other issues filled with emotional landmines.

The study found that parents of children under 18 commonly had a number of reasons for wanting out of their marriage, including the following:

  • Spouses are growing apart: 55 percent
  • They’re unable to talk with each other: 52.7 percent
  • How the spouse handles money: 40.3 percent
  • Spouse’s personal problems: 36.8 percent
  • Not getting enough attention: 34.1 percent
  • Cheating: 34 percent
  • Spouse’s personal habits: 28.6 percent
  • Sexual problems: 24.4 percent
  • Differences in taste, preferences: 23.3 percent
  • Substance abuse problems: 22.1 percent
  • Household responsibilities: 21.3 percent
  • Conflicts over the raising of their children: 19.9 percent
  • Spouse’s leisure-time activities: 18.3 percent
  • Difficulties with in-laws: 17.8 percent
  • Child care responsibilities: 16.5 percent
  • Spousal abuse: 12.7 percent
  • Spouse works too many hours: 9.1 percent
  • Religious differences: 8.6 percent

The study was done 500 miles north of St. Louis, at the University of Minnesota, by a psychologist, therapist and professor of family social science.

According to him, there are “hard reasons” and “soft reasons” why couples divorce.

“Hard reasons” include things such as infidelity, substance abuse, gambling addictions. “Soft reasons” are things such as “general unhappiness and dissatisfaction, such as growing apart and not communicating.”

If the reasons for divorce are “soft” ones, there is hope, he says, of reconciliation.

Some 25 percent in his study of parents who had decided to divorce said they believed there was still hope for their relationship, despite the decision.

Of course, for those parents who stick with their decision to divorce, they have those custody issues to contend with; a difficult process that can require the steadying hand of an experienced divorce attorney.

Source: USA Today, “Some couples pull back from the edge of divorce,” Sharon Jayson, Sept. 28, 2011

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