According to the studies, while men tend to initiate a separation or breakup, women tend to be the party that files for divorce. In fact, two of every three divorces will be filed by women. Most marriages tend to last at least ten years. The two most common reasons for postponing divorce: children and financial concerns.
So what are the specific reasons cited for divorce? The studies indicate that women generally cited three main reasons: verbal, physical or emotional abuse; different values or lifestyles; and cheating. But notably, one in four stated they had no obvious problems and simply fell out of love.
When we dig deeper into the statistics and look past the two obvious issues of abuse and adultery, we find some interesting data.
First, the studies indicate that women find their spouse to be controlling. While this could mean different things to different relationships, what it definitely means is that the women in this study viewed their partner as dominant in the relationship and that behavior alienated to such a degree that the relationship deteriorated.
Second, the studies indicate that women claim their spouse is not carrying sufficient weight in the relationship (i.e., not doing as much work around the house or enough of the emotional lifting in the relationship).
Third, the studies indicate that women cite abuse of alcohol or drugs as a common thread. This could have some covariance with the first two issues, as lingering trouble or emotional distance in a relationship could lead one party to medicate through alcohol or drugs.
Fourth, the studies indicate that women note money problems. We live in an era where two income households have become the norm rather than the exception; as such, we also see issues over who should be working more or earning more, as well as jealousy of the earnings of the other partner.
What are the takeaways from the studies? Women tend to be more proactive in moving onward, while men tend to hold on to the status quo. And the closer in participation both people are in the workings of all aspects of a relationship, the less likely they will divorce.
If you have questions about divorce, contact us – we can help.