Expert: These six traits help you survive divorce

On behalf of The Marks Law Firm, L.L.C. posted in Child Custody on Thursday, February 16, 2012

Parents about to go through divorce are understandably concerned about emotional and financial stability for their children and for themselves. The parents know there might well be difficult child custody disputes and disagreements about property distribution, child support and spousal maintenance, and they want to know if it will all work out in the end for their kids and for them.

Divorce financial strategist Jeff Landers says the biggest question women have when coming into his office is about their post-divorce financial well-being. He writes that there are six personal traits that can help women survive divorce financially and emotionally (these traits apply just as well to men, of course).

Lower emotions: He says clients who are able to focus on the important financial decisions rather than on the emotions of the moment are most likely to find themselves with a financial settlement they’re comfortable with after the smoke has cleared.

Keep cool: Even when disagreements heat up, stay cool, calm, collected — especially in court. Emotional outbursts in front of a judge can be very damaging to your arguments.

Delegate: Allow the professionals, whether legal or financial or emotional, to guide you through the divorce process. It allows you to focus on taking care of your kids and yourself.

Future focus: Remember, no matter how bad things are today, there’s life after divorce and you and your children will enjoy it.

Organization: Keep track of paperwork, deadlines and appointments with those professionals, with your family, friends, and others you lean on for advice and support. (Landers advises people to put those important papers in a safe deposit box, rather than leaving them in a place where the other spouse might come across them.)

Education: Make sure you understand your finances. Make sure you understand divorce terminology and how Missouri divorce law applies to you and your situation. Ask questions of your family law attorney and take notes.

Source: Forbes: “The Six Personal Traits That Help Women Successfully Survive Divorce,” Jeff Landers, Feb. 7, 2012

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