Navigating the best approach to take with a Guardian Ad Litem (GAL) in a divorce, custody, or parenting proceeding can be confusing. The GAL’s role is extremely important to the outcome of your case. This blog post will help you avoid common pitfalls and present yourself effectively.
The Basics About the Role of a Guardian Ad Litem
To save space for discussing interview tips, read our blog from January 28, 2025, that covers the basic information about the GAL’s role and responsibilities in your divorce, modification, or child custody proceeding. Remember that the GAL’s recommendation to the judge is crucial evidence that the court will heavily consider. Do not underestimate its significance!
How to Prepare for and Present Yourself to the Guardian Ad Litem
The To-Do’s
Show Up Prepared
Bring copies of all pertinent court papers and orders, plus any other relevant documents. Provide names and contact information for professionals working with you or your child, including teachers, therapists, and doctors. Prepare a list of friends and family members who know you and your child, including their contact information and a brief summary of what information each can provide. If your child has special medical or educational needs, organize and bring relevant documentation. Be ready to provide important photos, texts, emails, and social media posts to the GAL.
Organize your thoughts in advance and write notes with bullet points you want to cover, as it’s easy to forget important issues without them. Bring a pen and notepad to take notes, demonstrating that you take the GAL’s role seriously.
Be Honest, Transparent, and Polite
Maintaining credibility with the GAL is essential. Never raise your voice or show unpleasantness toward the GAL, as you’re essentially interviewing for the role of your child’s custodial parent. Don’t attempt to manipulate or mislead the GAL, as this will damage your credibility. The GAL will face competing “he said, she said” narratives and must objectively determine the truth, so being accurate and credible will likely pay dividends.
Don’t bash the other parent, exaggerate matters, or minimize your own shortcomings. Listen carefully to questions and respond honestly in an objective, factual manner. Treat this meeting like a job interview where your performance directly impacts your child’s future.
Fully Cooperate
Complete any intake sheets the GAL provides and respond quickly to requests for documents or information. However, don’t overwhelm the GAL with volumes of material about minor issues. Follow through on any suggestions the GAL makes, as you don’t want the GAL to see you as the source of problems. Being cooperative and easy to work with will go a long way toward building a positive relationship.
If the GAL identifies a problem with a parent, make sure they believe the problem lies with the other parent, not you. Your cooperative attitude can significantly influence their perception of your parenting capabilities.
Know Every Detail About Your Child
The GAL will ask extensive questions about your child to assess your knowledge and involvement. Details matter tremendously in these evaluations. Know the names of your child’s medical providers, the name of your child’s school, including the names of your child’s teachers, the names of your child’s sports coaches, the names of your child’s friends, be able to state your child’s hobbies and interests, your child’s favorite foods, TV shows, and movies. Be prepared to describe your child’s personality traits in detail.
You would be surprised how some parents know very little about their child’s daily lives and preferences. This knowledge demonstrates your active involvement and commitment to your child’s well-being.
Demonstrate Willingness to Co-Parent
Missouri generally favors shared parenting arrangements, so the GAL will evaluate whether parents can co-parent effectively together. Even if you’re seeking sole custody, show that you continue trying to work with the other parent. Always refer to “our child,” not “my child,” as this demonstrates your willingness to co-parent and maintain the other parent’s role in the child’s life.
If the GAL concludes that shared parenting isn’t in the child’s best interest, the GAL will likely recommend sole custody to the parent who has made the most effort to co-parent. This recommendation typically goes to the parent the GAL believes is most likely to act fairly and encourage the child’s relationship with the other parent.
Respect the GAL’s Role
The GAL isn’t a referee in a contest between parents but rather a neutral, objective investigator making recommendations based on the child’s best interests. Keep all discussions focused on the child, not your wishes or needs. Provide relevant information about your relationship with the child and your ability to care for your child’s well-being, but don’t inundate the GAL with excessive material or call about every disagreement with the other parent.
The Don’ts
Don’t Make Allegations You Can’t Prove
Making unsubstantiated allegations is one of the fastest ways to lose credibility with the GAL. There’s a significant difference between expressing your “belief” about a situation versus presenting provable facts. Focus on what you can demonstrate with evidence rather than speculation or assumptions.
Don’t Overstate the Facts
Avoid bashing the other parent or exaggerating matters, and don’t minimize your own shortcomings. Badmouthing the other parent can backfire and actually reflect poorly on your character and judgment. Don’t make excuses for past mistakes; instead, acknowledge them honestly and demonstrate what you’ve learned or how you’ve grown from those experiences.
Don’t Ask the GAL for Legal Advice
The GAL is not your legal advisor, so never ask for legal advice or discuss your legal strategy with the GAL. The GAL’s role is to be a neutral, independent investigator making recommendations solely based on what’s best for your child, not what’s best for you or the other parent.
When in Doubt, Ask Your Lawyer
If you’re uncertain about your approach or preparation for meeting with the GAL, discuss it with your lawyer in advance. Your lawyer should advise you on the best approach, answer your questions, and warn you about anything that might harm your case. This preparation can make the difference between a positive and negative GAL recommendation.
Conclusion
The GAL’s recommendation will likely significantly impact the outcome of your divorce, modification, or child custody litigation. Following these guidelines should improve your chances of obtaining a positive recommendation from the GAL. However, always discuss the specifics of your case with your lawyer before meeting with the GAL, as each situation presents unique considerations and challenges.
Experienced, Trusted, and Professional Creve Coeur, St. Charles, and O’Fallon Divorce Lawyers
Should you need assistance from an experienced divorce and child custody attorney in Creve Coeur, St. Charles, or O’Fallon, or have questions about your divorce situation, we’re here to help and ready to discuss your concerns.