Part II: Teachers give lessons to divorcing parents

On behalf of The Marks Law Firm, L.L.C posted in Child Custody on Thursday, August 16, 2012

In our previous post, we wrote about the effects of divorce on parents, kids and the kids’ teachers.

We touched on several issues, including parents who have difficulty after a divorce in making their children take responsibility for poor behavior at school, as well as parents who sometimes try to “buy” the approval of their children by plying them with excessive gifts of clothing, toys and even cars.

We also mentioned the fact that an author of a book on divorce said some parents, overwhelmed by their own anxieties about their new life-situation, fail to reassure their kids about the changes divorce has brought to their young lives.

Children who have had to move to new schools because of their parents’ divorce are typically going to be anxious about making new friends and fitting in with new teachers at a new school. Parents should strive to remind their kids of past successes with friends and classes, rather than dwelling on their own insecurities about their own new life-situation.

The author (also a teacher) remembered an incredibly awkward moment in a parent-teacher conference in which a father was reading through his son’s journal (the teacher had her students write entries each morning). The father came across entries that revealed that his son’s mother was planning to move to another state with her new love interest.

The mother had kept the secret from her former husband, but not from her young son, who now bore the burden of having revealed the secret to his dad.

The mood became uncomfortable and the six-year-old boy had tears welling in his eyes. The teacher wrote that she felt the boy would “never ever express (his emotions) again in writing.”

One teacher who taught in elementary and middle schools said parents need to reach agreements on not only their child’s schooling, but also on communication methods between the two of them that will help ensure their child’s success in school.

“Agree in writing, if it comes to that, whom the teacher can depend on for lunch money, signed forms, field trips, conferences and updates,” she said.

Our law firm handles divorce and child custody disputes. For more information, visit our St. Louis child custody page.

Source: Huffington Post, “Back To School 2012: Teachers Reveal Parents’ Biggest Divorce Mistakes,” Aug. 14, 2012

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