Tips for keeping a divorce sane

By November 30, 2011Divorce

On behalf of The Marks Law Firm, L.L.C. posted in Divorce on Wednesday, November 30, 2011

While St. Louis people are known for their common sense, under tremendous stress even the most sensible person can struggle to keep their wits about them.

The stress of divorce presents unique challenges to almost everyone facing it, whether they face it as the initiator of the divorce or not.

The Huffington Post recently ran an interesting article with tips from a divorce coach, psychotherapist and social worker about how to hang on to sanity during a divorce.

For those initiating the divorce, the advice included the following tips:

  • Understand the difference in emotional states between you and your spouse. As the initiator, you’re likely farther into the emotional processing of separation and divorce than your spouse.
  • Remember that no one likes rejection. Even though you and your spouse may have discussed marital problems, the announcement of a divorce is likely to come as a shock and be taken as a rejection.
  • Expect change. Life will change after you initiate a divorce. It will change even more when the divorce is final. Few people ever get everything they want in a divorce, so be prepared to compromise and accept changes.

For those who don’t initiate the divorce, the advice included the following tips:

  • Things will get better. When you look at your spouse, you might well wonder how they can be doing so well with the impending divorce. Remember that they’ve had more time to think it through than you have, but that one day you, too, will adjust to the new emotional landscape.
  • Focus on you. Try not to worry and wonder who your spouse might be seeing, or what your mate is doing, saying, etc. Focus on your needs and the needs of your children instead. Resist the urge to disengage by getting involved in a new activity.

If you face the prospect of divorce, talk your options over with an experienced divorce attorney so that you’ll better understand the process and your rights and place in it.

Source: Huffington Post: “10 Tips for a Sane Divorce: Five for You, Five for Me,” Micki McWade, Nov. 28, 2011