Career imbalance can lead to separation, divorce

On behalf of The Marks Law Firm, L.L.C posted in Legal Separation on Monday, October 29, 2012

For people who love their careers, it can be difficult to find the proper balance between work and home. A person might well be an affectionate, loyal spouse and a loving parent, but if they spend long hours every day at the office, the imbalance can lead to a rift that eventually causes a split.

For some, that split might mean a separation in which the spouses work together to try to reorder priorities and restore balance. For others, the imbalance might prove to be an insurmountable hurdle, leaving divorce as the only viable option.

A recent column by a marriage and family therapist addressed the issue and used the story of a woman named Ellen as an illustration of someone who felt abandoned by a spouse devoted to work. Her husband was so busy on a large project for work that he left her and their new baby alone for extended periods.

Another woman, Abigail, was completely consumed by her career; so immersed in building a successful one that she rarely dated and never developed real relationships. Clearly, divorce isn’t on the horizon for her because she never gets close enough to anyone but co-workers.

The problem with being so devoted to work is that it leaves little time or energy to devote to relationships.

The therapist who wrote the column suggested that those who are married to people who appear to be pursing career goals single-mindedly should step back and think about their spouse’s motivations. Why are they putting so much time and effort into work and not into their family?

If the time away starts to become too much of a burden, the therapist writes, give the other spouse warning. Let them know how you feel. You might be able to work out a way of combining career and family that’s satisfactory.

These are personal matters complicated by legitimate emotions. When the differences between spouses become irreconcilable, it makes sense to talk over your legal options with an experienced St. Louis family law attorney.

Source: Huffington Post, “Russell Crowe: Can You Really Have It All…Career And Family?” Oct. 24, 2012

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